How to look busy when you need to sit and think for an hour, but it doesn’t qualify as being useful in your particular work environment? Here’s an idea:

Hacker Typer

Log on, keep hitting the keyboard randomly, done.

Also useful if you badly need some “wow!” at your preferred coffee joint or in airport lounges. Careful though, as you might get a thorough security check instead of wow. Remember, just opening browser dev tools qualifies as criminal hacking these days.

When caught like this, defend yourself by claiming that it wasn’t you, but Apple “logarithms” which have inserted those images of dreadful hackery right into your screen, while you were only zooming in. There is a recent precedent after all, when The Justice has declared that:

… iPads, which are made by Apple, have artificial intelligence in them that allow things to be viewed through three dimensions and logarithms. [The iPad] uses artificial intelligence or their logarithms to create what they believe is happening. So this isn’t actually enhanced video; this is Apple’s iPad programming creating what it thinks is there, not what necessarily is there."


Happy Monday!